Since I've quit blogging, I'm finding it difficult to get around and comment at blogs.

I'm writing this post to tell everyone if you happen by that I am sorry I've abandoned you all. I really thought I'd still be around to read and comment at your blogs. I fess up to it - I'm not following through.

I do occasionally get by but it feels so much like an obligation at times to leave a comment and to try to keep up. Sometimes I get by to read, and even though I still care about the people writing the blog, I can barely muster up the time and energy it takes to comment. My point is I still care about the people I've encountered through this medium of blogging. It is just that I'm weary of the medium of blogging. It is the process of blogging that I'm finding it hard to care about doing. The people I care about and so it's quite a dilemma because the only way really to say I care about you is to participate in the process of blogging.

Maybe I have a blog depression.

I'm just sort of sick of going to read and walking away feeling so cluttered. Yes, it's making my mind too overwhelmed. All that information about other people and their lives. Even when it seems really personal at times my experience is that is all feels so unreal because it lacks all the human connection of touch and tone of voice. There are too many books recommended or too many creative ideas to try.

There are some blogs I used to enjoy for the writing and the topics but lately I cannot stand the sales pitches. It seems more and more what used to be a nice conversation is now becoming more of what we are already bombarded with every day - the message that you aren't good enough- but if you buy my product then you'll be better than ever...........beyond your wildest dreams good enough!

I don't begrudge anyone making a living. More power to you if you can do it from home while sitting on your sofa. I am just feeling overwhelmed by this medium right now. I used to feel inspired when I surfed the internet now I feel scattered and crazed!!!!!

So I make my apologies to all of you bloggers out there who I made a connection with on this journey. I'm sorry for not visiting often enough or commenting enough. I feel like the medium is flawed and I'm off to search out more in person contact....... creative blessings to all.....and if you want to comment.....sorry I'm turning them off....but those of you who would comment probably already know my email so drop me a line there if you have something to say.

I heart blogging

This is my second Blogiversary!

In honor of the occasion I'd like to send my creative heart seeds out into the world. Many of you already have one - either from the writer's spa or I've been able to send a few of you a heart already. Yet, I know there are many of you I'd still like to send a creative heart seed so if you'd like one, send me a note to:

February 27, 2008 I'm deleting this email address from this post.......sorry to whomever comes along to read this and becomes confused.

When I started this blog two years ago it was something I'd thought about for a little while. The momentum of the new year inspired me to jump right into it finally. Within a very short time I had joined Leah - who was then known as Kat to participate in the "blogging the artist's way" Leah has a new journey to embark upon. She is encouraging blogging about Creative Every Day in 2008.
Click here to learn more about it. I've signed up. It's a low pressure challenge but one where we will have an opportunity to infuse daily creativity into our lives. You don't have to have a blog to do it either.

Anniversaries, Birthdays, January 1 seems to gravitate toward questions of where am I going and what does it all mean. I have no idea if I will keep up this blog through the next year - or if I'll start a new blog. I feel like something new is just around the next corner.........

but for now my philosophy is little by little. Right now I'm blogging on this blog. So stay tuned...

And how will you do a little bit of creativity today?

CREATIVE BLESSINGS! 2008 CREATE!
NOW HEART!

Random Me

Self portrait of moi...... wearing my first fully finished crocheted scarf. I used Lion Brand HOMESPUN yarn in the color Coral Gables.

7 Random or Weird Things about me:
I was tagged by Deborah of Spiritual Anecdotes to give seven random things about me. It is a meme that I believe has gone around the blogosphere for a while now. I'll use that as my reason for not tagging other blogs. Yet if you haven't yet done this one and you read my blog - consider yourself tagged - you know who you are, so when you have it posted let me know! You can view the proper rules and Deborah's own list here.

1. My one addiction is to coffee. I must have a good cup of coffee first thing in the morning. I get cranky without a good cup of coffee. I prefer a cup (usually two) of medium roast brew from freshly ground beans. Don't forget a little milk and sugar. Recently, I've reduced my fat intake so I've adjusted to using some milk instead of half and half.

2. I have a bad habit of leaving drawers and cabinet doors open. I think I get so involved in what I'm getting out of the storage that I forget to shut the drawer or door. It happens the most when I am cooking. My husband would probably say this is my number one weird random thing about me.

3. In my opinion - I would say my number one weird random thing about me is that I'm like a parrot when it comes to sounds, tunes, and commercial jingles. They go in my head and the next thing I'm parroting the sound. Christmas music is particularly insidious. I may not know the words but the tune goes in and I parrot it. Bless my husband's heart - he usually just laughs. When I hear him laugh I try to stop.

4. I make homemade pizza once a week. I don't make the sauce from scratch. I use a quarter of a jar of spaghetti sauce for that. But I make the dough from scratch using my bread machine. I can top it with lots of veggies. We also use meat - but it is so wonderful to eat a pizza loaded up with zucchini, bell peppers, and mushrooms. I cook the pizza on one of those baking stones. And every week I find myself saying I love my pizza!

5. When I'm being creative I work my lips. Especially if I am being creative using my hands to make or craft something. I always know when I have had a creative day because my lips need chap stick. Sometimes, you might even hear me say, "Hold your mouth right" because when I'm working on a project and I'm hoping something will come together I just have to work those lips and hold my mouth right that way it will all work out just right!

6. I love kale. The green leafy vegetable. It makes me feel strong. Every time I eat it I always feel like I've just consumed a super food.

7. I'm really good at finding lost objects in clutter. I had a lot of practice as a kid searching for eyeglasses or keys. We used to run around saying, "here keys....here keys"....like we were calling a puppy dog to us. All that searching developed a visual skill though. I can find lost glasses, keys, masking tape, etc.... One day I was in a small kitchen supply store. The salesclerk said, "I've lost my phone in here somewhere." I asked her what color it was and then I found it easily for her. It was on a shelf near the woks and Asian style dishes.

Thanks for the fun Deborah. I hope that is random or weird.......and to all of you -please, when you're leaving a comment - "hold your mouth right"

Thanks Tinker!

Tinker gave me a little happy dance when I returned from the Writer's Spa. She sent me a Blogging Reflection Award! Thanks Tinker! All of Tinker's posts delight me. I also feel so much encouragement from Tinker if I could I'd send this award right back to her I would.

Dance over and visit Tinker if your are not already a regular fan.

So this is what I am to do next as I understand it:
"nominate 5 bloggers that are an encouragement, a source of love,
impact me in some way and who has provided a Godly example. In other
words, five cherished bloggers whom, when you reflect upon them, you are
filled with a sense of pride and joy"

I would pass along a nomination to Greenishlady because she and I started blogging about the same time and I'm always amazed by her lovely poetry and writing. I'm proud to have made a connection to this extraordinary writer. Since Tinker nominated her and I at the same time -I will direct you to Greenishlady's SoulFragments blog where she shows her wonderful soul collage cards. Sometimes I dream of going to Ireland and taking a soul collage workshop from Imelda.

I have not been keeping up in blog land. All the travel I've done this summer has really meant I've been unable to keep up my reading - so I may be renominating people - but I would next like to nominate Leah at Creative Everyday. She inspires me. Her encouragement to make art has always been a source of inspiration. Even before I ever became a blogger - Leah was encouraging me as a reader.

Annie gets the next nomination though I'm sure she's already been nominated. I just appreciate how absolutely nice, kind, and generous she is. I'm proud to know her through blogging and I'm so happy to see her blossoming lately.

Next I want to nominate Mahima because whenever I visit her blog her words and images cause me to reflect in unexpected ways. I always feel like creativity is possible and more inspired after I've visited Mahima's blog. I admit I'm not a regular visitor or commenter at her blog but lately, I just haven't been getting around to anywhere. Mahima is someone I'd like to make more of a connection with so I'm sending her this nomination.

Since it is 5 nominations I would like to finish out with a nomination to Be ... Dream ...Play. This lady is another blogger I have not left a lot of comments for - especially lately but every time I visit her blog I leave feeling refreshed by COLOR. If you want to feel inspired to play then go there.

I need a button on my sidebar that says blogging slow. I just feel like sometimes I cannot keep up, but that is okay. I love this process of blogging even when I cannot always get to everywhere and everything I'd like to touch upon I'm still happy to be a part of it. Grateful to play and dance and write and express with such creative women....

Calmer water

"Never underestimate our inclination to bolt when we hurt." - Pema Chodron

Pema said this about meditation - but I think it is equally true for life circumstances. What you read the other day was my great inclination to bolt and my hurt. Though it's worth going back to the post because the comments are so very tender and wise. I thank you all and I know that you all unfortunately have or are having to cope with grief so I am all the more touched by your comments.
This is all I can really think to give you - an Internet

((((((( HUG)))))))

Part of the fun of blogging are the things that fly around real fast - blog awards, memes, etc....Up until recently I never paid much mind to them. They were like the background. Much of the time if I noticed it was because they only lead to more discovery of interesting blogs. However, grief has a way of altering one's perception. This latest award craze just lead me to the end of my rope because I feel this intense longing for what I want to do creatively in blogland and in real life, but it's also thwarted by all the changes that have taken place. I grieve for what once was and I haven't quite yet found the new path.

When I got to the end of my rope - I discovered loneliness. If I had to sum up grief I think I would describe it as an empty darkened room - it's lonely. Yet sometimes the field has to lie fallow in order to once again be fertile. Fallow is a grieving place - but it also means that eventually seeds will be planted again and the lights will come on and the room will have furnishings again. It also means keep the faith - and having some blog friends and a good sister to blow into your tattered sails helps too. I just hope that I can somehow return the kindness back.

I'm not going to quit blogging yet. I really do enjoy this medium of expression and I feel I haven't fully explored it yet. I've only begun. I may take breaks though I may not announce that - or I may not take any breaks. I may just get more curious about the process of grieving and write about that more for awhile. I really don't know. The good news is change happens and the bad news is change happens. And while we might come to the end of one rope there is another thread to follow even if we sometimes have to fumble around in the dark for awhile.

I do believe this all relates to creativity somehow. And so I wouldn't be surprised at all if some flowers appear and some fruit ripens again.

"Faith is not a commodity we either have or don't have - it is an inner quality that unfolds as we learn to trust our own deepest experience" - Sharon Salzberg

The one thing about having a blog is that I compose a lot of posts in my head - while driving, while waiting in line, etc.... I hate to admit it but when I sit to meditate or I'm in yoga class and my mind wanders I find myself composing a blog post.

Today, I had a fine and interesting day that I'd love to tell you about, but actually I think it is several compositions long and I all I want to do is get off to bed.

I don't know how other bloggers do it. I cannot seem to manage the time and manage my real life too. Soon, I will have a shift in my life. I won't be driving an hour and a half 5 days a week. Until that time comes I guess I'll just have to live my blogging life in my head. Too bad you my readers cannot leave comments there - well actually that's probably a good thing. Your comments are all very nice and I enjoy them but really I want them to remain on the blog - 'cause I got enough commenting and composing going on with myself in my own head.
Ah....so now, I just sound insane so I think I'll get off to sleep.