the mislabeled detour

I spent a lot of the day cleaning. I know that sounds boring crazy but it's a very grounding process for me. I concentrated on the areas of my home that when I walked through them I felt my energy fall. You know that feeling of UGH and your shoulders drop. Mostly it was a matter of vacuuming and dusting and by doing so uplifting my spirits.

I talked to all my siblings today. That's a rare thing to happen all in one day. It looks like May will be the time frame for putting our parents ashes into a burial wall. I'm not sure what the proper terminology is - Internment is the word I've heard. What ever it is called it gives me a lot of peace of mind to have that date coming into view. I miss my mom and I'm always so surprised when the tears come like they are doing now.....but getting their ashes into a proper place will allow me to move on with my own life. In so many ways my life was sidetracked in 1994 when Dad passed and to be able to have a memorial for him and my mom will bring me a huge sense of completion to a chapter of life.

Through this there have been a lot of blessings. In fact, I feel as if I've been given a gift of wisdom this last year. I'm not really sure I can say anymore that my life was sidetracked in 1994. Maybe it's just perfectly on track - if I change the so called sidetrack of 94 ....... where would I be then? Would I be married to the sweet stable and fun man that I'm married to? Would I be as close to my sister as I am now? So, I think I need a new story. The one I've lived has brought me right here right now. I'm grateful for my life and grateful for what I'm learning now. I'm grateful for the companions I find myself with on this journey. So now - I wouldn't change that sidetrack if I had the chance. Now I would only change what I've been calling "the sidetrack" -it was really just a detour intended to keep me on my path.