Week 5 Checkin

Oooppps....I almost forgot to do my daily lump today. Thankfully, when I sat down at my computer to write I suddenly remembered. So off to my studio I went. I've been on a roll with doing them each day and counting today I've done 19 consecutive days. I notice that the ones I do in the morning I'm usually more pleased with and I think that tells me something about how I need to structure my day in order to make the most of my energy. I also have noticed that for right now doing the daily lump is enough. I know I'm going to start my class soon and eventually I'll want to work on some other projects, but for right now it feels right and good and just enough to do a daily lump each day and that's all I'm doing in clay.

I feel a little scattered and a little bored with the Artist's Way. I've noticed this week that I'm not as in sync with the process. I've been picking up other books like the Art and Fear book. Maybe what underlies all of it is I am often afraid to dream or to wish. I get resistant to doing this outright and boldly. This week in the Artist's Way was all about those possibilities. I also feel that for me taking little steps works so much better - when I expand too much and look too broadly I have a tendency to shut off because I'm overwhelmed. I can often come up with a lot of ideas, but executing them through to completion is something I can procrastinate using the technique of just coming up with more ideas and projects.

I know Cameron is waking us up and getting us to flex our imagination muscles - but I guess I'm saying this week I hit a place where I'm not quite ready to move to the next level. It's good though because I don't think I've ever had this kind of awareness for myself. In the past I might have continued on forcing the learning or given up instead of saying I'm just not fully here in this place at the moment. I'm not giving up - I'm just going to give myself a bit of a break and some time to integrate all that has been happening.

I have noticed I'm more willing to find the things that are feeding me. I bought some clay magazines today just so I could begin creating an image file of things made with clay. I've also been listening to Dr. Wayne Dyer's CD's on The Power of Intention. It's been very appropriate to listen to during this week's topic of possibilities. In some ways, I can see that I'm not really as out of sync with the Artist's Way as I feel.

My artist date this week was a long luxurious bath. At first I thought doing a bath as an artist date might not be a "real" kind of artist's date. But then it occurred to me that when I take a long bath especially during the day I go into a state of bliss. My mind just turns off and I can drift and dream. Well, this seemed like the perfect thing to feed my artist and it was. I have a very nice bathtub in this new place I live and I don't really let myself take too many baths because I care more about conserving water. When I do take a bath though I make sure it is long and sacred and I always come out of it feeling so much gratitude.

I'm glad I have this blog and this wonderful artist way community online. I'm still working on paying close attention to what works for me to keep me on track. I fear shutting off and then not being able to get back on track. I think having this place to come and post and read and leave comments and read comments is helping me. I have one local artist group but we haven't met in a long time - though we are meeting again at the end of the month. All I can really say is I continue to feel such gratitude for this experience. I may not have spent this week coming up with all these wild and wonderful dreams - but I kept the creative tap on and that is enough for me.