Where have you been spiritdoll?
I bet you all think I left my blog far behind and I was never going to return again. Back when I started this blog I had more time to spend at home. I was only going into Albuquerque about 3 maybe 4 times a week. Now, I have one regular day to spend at home and sometimes a 2nd day per week. This change has been the biggest reason for my abscence. There is a time crunch.
Other things keeping me away have been our internet service provider --Comcr*p - decided to mix up our account with some other account and we lost service - ugh! Knock on wood that it is fixed. And we have had so much rain in this state. I have never seen it so green. With rain comes lightening and that means all the computer equipment gets shut off. That has definitely meant I've not been able blog much in the evenings especially.
Now you know why I've been away. How have I been? Actually, I can report I am well. Yes, there is a tough experience happening in my life right now. My mom is still living in her own home and we have the support of hospice care. My sister and I check on her several times a day. At some point further changes will have to be made for her care. I won't deny it isn't a challenging process yet there has also been a shift for me personally that I think is really positive.
What is that shift? Well it has to do with embracing change. I recognized early on that I was going to have to do some things differently if I was going to be of any use to help. I found an excellent book Tough Transitions: Navigating Your Way Through Difficult Times by Elizabeth Harper Neeld, PhD. It helped to give me some perspective.
I started doing some things very regularly. Meditating. Sitting down for 15 minutes each morning. Then I vowed to go to yoga class regularly. As it happened my yoga teacher offered an August special and last week I went to 5 yoga classes! I'm trying other things too - baths and/or showers with the specific intention of not just getting clean but as a way to let go of the stressful energy. I've been using music in a therapeutic way too. The key for me is to just be mindful of doing these regular maintainance kinds of things that help me feel supported.
What is the biggest shift for me? It started as a way to just take care of myself so I could be of some help to others. And at times it seems selfish to focus so much on myself - but I've been given some deep insights around this issue. The cliche that you must put on your own oxygen mask before helping anyone else is true. You have to above all else take care of yourself or everyone goes down with the ship.
And just becoming firm and grounded in that realization has lead me deep into myself. It would be easy for me to wait to live my dreams. It would be easy for me to wait to do things that make my heart sing. But if I don't start letting my heart sing now - then when? My new attitude seems to be shifting to "if not now then when" Dr Dyer says, "Don't die with your music still in you" So yes, there is a lot of change happening. I'm beginning to embrace the fact that if I feel change then I have confirmation I'm alive. Thank God I'm alive. It isn't always easy but I don't need to make it harder on myself by treating myself badly and denying myself a full glorious life. So there has been a shift toward affirming myself.
How are you affirming your life today?
p.s. If you leave a comment please bear with me - but I am going to keep on approving all comments - so if your comment takes a while to appear it probably means that I'm just a little slow in checking my mail. You know it is that time crunch thing......gosh darn it.
