Warning very long post you may not want to read-

I just need to say what is in this post because it is a block and I don't want it to be a block for me anymore. Before you read further though I will say I reveal something about the Artist's Way which could cause you to become disillusioned with the material - I suggest you not read any further if you have placed Julia Cameron up on a high pedestal and want to keep her there. If you are happy with her book it would be fine to just leave now and not read any further. And forget you even read this much.

I warned you and if you are just too curious and must read further - you were warned. I wasn't going to write this post and put it out there, but I wrote and it gave me lots of clarity and put to rest something that has bothered me for ten years. So, I'm putting it out there......but I strongly suggest you not read further if you are sensitive to the issue of giving credit to one's sources because knowing what I figured out ten years ago has up until now left me very confused and disillusioned with Cameron.

If you want to understand why Cameron has us doing the task of goal search this week. And if you want to understand more about picking a concrete goal and what is the emotional drive under your goal then you need to go to Barbara Sher's book Wishcraft:How to Get What You Really Want copyright 1979. Chapter 4 specifically. I have no idea what arrangement is between Cameron and Sher - but I believe that Sher gave Cameron a lot of permission to use her wishcraft exercises in the Artist's Way. If you want to know why Cameron is having us describe ourselves as a color or why she had us write out our ideal environments way back in week 4. Or you want to know why she was always asking us for imaginary lives or you want to know what is the point of listing twenty things you enjoy doing - then go to Barbara Sher's Wishcraft book. Cameron throws out all these exercises and never really explains why we are doing them, but Barbara Sher really explains it in more detail.

Ten years ago I think I got to chapter eight of the AW and sort of lost my drive to follow Cameron. I felt kind of betrayed to discover how fully the tasks in the Artist's Way are the same as in Barbara Sher's book. But after all this time and giving the Artist's Way another pass I feel a little differently. I think that Sher's work made a big impact on Cameron. I suspect they were friends or Cameron knew and experienced Sher's work first hand. And what a tribute to Sher that her work would be a used by one of her students and/or friends and make such an impact on so many other people.

I started to do the task of goal search this week and I just was so compelled to go read in Barbara Sher's book. Then it just really got to me this connection of Sher's work to what Cameron presents to us in her book. I get stopped every time with Cameron's material at this edge. But this time, I'm not going to let it stop me. I really see an opportunity for myself. I am a bit of a shadow creative teacher. I just love this topic. I could read about it all day and I could go to all the bloggers doing this Artist Way process and read about their experiences. I don't get bored by it. I guess I secretly dream about being someone who fully lives a creative life and encourages others to live creative lives. And yet I recognize that Cameron and Sher have made an impact on me and if I dream about writing my own creative book I don't think I could do it without some acknowledgement of their work. But just because they have written books and taught - does that really give me the excuse to say - oh well, forget my dream because they have already done it?

Instead, I see the opportunity to say I can pay my own tribute to all of this work and blend it with my own style and put it out into the world. I had a teacher once who taught me how to make spiritdolls - her name is Sherry Hart. I came out of fine art school burnt out and took one of her classes for fun and relaxation. In fine art school the professors were secretive. They wouldn't show you their own work because they were always afraid of having a student take their idea and do a better job expressing it then they had. Sherry Hart didn't come from that place she would show you her work and even work on it in class with you. I remember one time I used one of her ideas in a spiritdoll and she was so excited to see how I'd taken some idea of hers and in a way added another perspective. It added a rung to the ladder. She saw us as climbing a ladder of creativity together. I'll never forget how much that reception meant to me and how it allowed my creativity to blossom.

So in a way, I see what Cameron has done with Barbara Sher's work was put another rung on the ladder. I'm allowed to add my own voice. I am worthy of it. I don't exactly dream of being as famous as Cameron with a travel schedule that I bet she has to maintain. But I won't stop my own voice from putting a rung on the ladder. And though I hope I haven't ruined the Artist's Way for you by pointing toward Barbara Sher's Wishcraft book I do feel like it helps me climb the ladder to know a little more the reasoning behind the tasks Cameron has us doing. Since I never originally came to the AW way without having read Wishcraft first I don't know how it is to do these exercises the way they are presented by Cameron. They must be just fine the way they are because her book is huge and popular - but I read the AW exercises and sometimes I want to know why I'm being asked to do this task - so I go back a rung on the ladder to Wishcraft.

Ten years ago when I did the Artist Way for the first time there was a huge issue of grieving the death of my father. So, I liked the AW and I did it, but it wasn't life changing for me because I was stuck in other issues that the AW didn't even get close to touching upon. I've done a lot of work since then and I have to say this time the AW feels like it is propelling me forward more easily. After my Dad died I dropped out of art therapy school. I don't regret that decision. But in looking at my disillusionment last time of Cameron's material I think it was because Sher's book had propelled me into studying art therapy. Then my Dad died and I dropped art therapy and when I saw Cameron's connection to Sher's work I just lost the passion for all of it. It kind of sat flat for me until very recently when I started this blog and joined other AW bloggers. But today - day 61 on my blog - the desire to create and inspire creativity burns very bright in me and I'm trying to recognize how I took this ten year turn and that it would be okay to pick it up again. I don't regret the last ten years. They are very important to me for so many reasons, but I want to go on this creative path and I acknowledge it is a dream of mine. Now, onto coming up with some concrete goals.....