The short answer is I was born here. I almost went to college here, but I was nudged to go to a college out of state. After college I wanted to stay in that college town. I kind of meandered my way through various jobs and finally decided on a graduate school in that same small college town. Everything was going great - until suddenly it wasn't. Isn't that the way that life works sometimes?
One day you wake up and you find yourself in what they call a "dark night of the soul." At first it's like the rug comes completely out from under you and your flat on your back. Once you get back up - it seems like everything should be as it was before except now it seems like the whole room has been rearranged. Where you once had a comfy upholstered chair now in its place is a loose wiggly wooden chair that when you sit in it you feel as if the whole thing is going to collapse under you. After a while you start to feel so uncomfortable that you just know it's time to leave.
I looked all over for a new place to move. I kept looking at small college towns. Grasping at the notion that I could move to a new college town and have what I had before the rug slipped. Something in me wouldn't allow me to move to any of these places. I guess I knew if I moved I'd find myself again in that very uncomfortable room with the nearly broken chair. So I made a hard choice, but one that felt right. I moved back to my home town.
I knew that it was time to look under that rug - to examine in depth all the things I had swept under it and the foundation that the rug laid upon. I knew I had to grow up and face the things. I knew it would be difficult work. It WAS difficult work. It took me far longer to get through than I ever imagined. Eventually, I did begin to resolve some things. I bought a house - I let go - I sent down roots back into New Mexico.
I met my husband. All because I moved back and grew up and was finally ready. He's responsible for where I live now. Okay, it was as much my choice as his. He didn't force me to move out here to Placitas. Where I live now is about 25 miles away from the house that I lived as a child. It's nearly in the wilderness. I have neighbors so I am not isolated. Every morning I am aware of the just how different this place is from my college town or my home town city. I see bunny rabbits and big jack rabbits. I see quail. I hear coyotes howl in the night. Hawks and buzzards and crows glide over. Squirrels and mice leave their footprints in the dust at my back door. I know there are snakes too - though I haven't seen them yet. The elevation is about 1500 feet higher than in the city below.
This home has views. I never imagined myself in a home with views. I was used to hearing traffic and having a view of my backyard to the wall and then the next door neighbors house. I haven't yet seen the views through all four seasons yet -we've only been here for 6 months.
I live out here because my husband grew up in the country. I live out here because my husband had a strong need to have some space around him. I live out here because it was my choice and though my husband's desire propelled us up here into the mountains I am fully aware that I had the rudder. At any point I could have said - no I cannot move out of the city. I wasn't exactly sure if I would like it out here. Would I get lonely?
Placitas is a place with a bunch of houses but rural - there is no government - no town square. It has a few gathering spots - the little mini mart gas station where the men "shoot the sh*t" as they say. It has a small fledgling library. There are a lot of artists and sometimes studio tours and events for music or poetry. There is a winery. And a beauty salon. A couple of restaurants, and art gallery, and a small grocery store. You get to know people randomly - here or there. Maybe if you volunteer with the library or the recycling or the fire department you have an opportunity to meet more people. Yet, if you want to be a hermit - it is quite possible out here. It has a much deeper history too - but I won't elaborate on that today.
I confess that it is my own hermit tendencies that has allowed me to feel quite comfortable out here. I find when I do go into the city I am able to connect with other people because this place with it's big sky recharges my energy. I am not an anti social person, but it does tend to drain my energy to be with other people. So this place I live renews my energy and at a basic fundamental level I live where I live because it feels good. I feel very blessed to live where I do. I feel very blessed to live where I do with my husband. New Mexico is called the Land of Enchantment - it is a wondrous place and I guess that is also why I live here.
