In flux.....

This is my kiln. I fired it yesterday. To get a photo of my reflection in the side of it I had to squat down - hold my camera out with one hand - wave with my other hand - and turn off the flash when I snapped the shot. The photo is blurry. It's in flux. But then the clay in that kiln is at one thousand ninety four degrees Fahrenheit and it's in a state of flux too.

Come to think of it my sacred life seems to be in a state of flux. I'm grateful for the fullness of this online community. My sacred life isn't static right now but it almost has too much going on at the moment to find my way around to visit my online companions or document on my blog my wonderful sacred life. And that is a wonderful problem to have - such creative sacred abundance online and offline.

I'll return again another day to share with you what was in the kiln......until then I hope whether you feel stagnant or scattered or peaceful or in flux you can find at the center of the center of yourself the root that is your sacred life.

this and that

This is my daily lump from yesterday. It's a snail. I've been thinking about making a snail my blog symbol for the fact that I tend to blog slow. I can see it on a button - click on the button and you can read about how I am a slow blogger. How I love to blog but cannot always keep up with the fast pace of the blog world. I may be slow to respond to comments. I won't usually post everyday. New visitors who leave a comment will likely get a slow response not because I'm not enthusiastic but because well.......I blog slow........

It's been a few days and I haven't been able to get this picture posted about crochet. I started a class last Saturday. I was by far the worst crochet student. That's okay. I've never been taught to crochet before, and I've never tried to learn on my own, so I got lost easily. Luckily, my sister will be able to help me and I can practice the chain stitch and the single crochet stitch for two weeks before the next class. It's really a good brain workout. Having to use so much of my non dominant hand is a good thing. I also found some help on the Internet. Isn't that amazing?!
I found more beautiful clouds yesterday. This cloud formation produced a short rain shower. I feel my sacred life when I take the time to look at the clouds.
This post has been a little of this and a little of that. I do love being part of Carla's idea for "my sacred life" I may be a slow blogger and I don't always get as many posts completed and I may not always get around to all the wonderful bloggers out there but just being a part of it makes me appreciate the wonderful magical sacred life I am living. And I will slowly get around at my snail's pace.......

Clouds

Last night my husband got me to look away from my computer and go outside to look at the beautiful clouds. I had a busy day yesterday of errands and shopping. I wasn't able to spend much time at the computer. I was frantically trying to catch up on comments and email when I hear, "Sweetie, sweetie.........sweetie....look at the clouds" I decided to leave the computer for another day and just relax with my husband and my cats.
Today, I will also be away from the computer. I'm going to my first crochet class. I've never done any sort of knitting or crochet but I feel a pull to try it. Then I have a few other errands while I'm in town. So, my sacred life is a bit busy at the moment. This is just a quick - post and run......Have a great day!

I just discovered we now have a button for Carla's project My Sacred Life I put it over there at the top of my side bar. YAY! Thanks Carla and Karen.

Blooming Colors

Yesterday, my sacred life, included feeling lucky to be able to see color. To be able to play with color. I was making my husband a card yesterday. When I was done, I left this mess of stamps and stamp pads and colored pencils strewn about my table. Later when my thoughts went to the idea of my sacred life I thought of this mess. Go capture this mess it -it is sacred - it is color, it is possibility, it is abundance. I gave thanks and captured this image to share.

Today, I am choosing to capture two of the roses my husband brought home for me for our anniversary. I put these two into my studio and then captured their portrait.


It is a sacred thing to love and be loved. I really thought I might never get married and I feel so happy to have my man by my side for 4 years and going strong. My sacred life includes a flower or two in my studio reminding me to bloom.
I recently found this quote and it spoke to me about looking for my sacred life:

"To learn about the invisible, look at the visible." - Talmud

My Sacred Life

The past two days I've been unfocused. I've been avoiding having fun or enjoying my life. For that matter I haven't even gotten any chores or responsibilities accomplished. I've been swinging on the pendulum from feeling inspired and anything is possible to the other side which is feeling discouraged. Nothing much seems as possible and I feel as if I'm spinning my wheels. Okay, okay, I know this sounds so dramatic. I think I am just crashing after the fun of the Writer's Spa. I've had a bit of grief arise again too......and even though I usually don't go around announcing these things - durnit - I have PMS.
Ah well, I know enough at 38 years old that this too will pass......And that is why I like Carla's beautiful idea over at Zena Musings to do a project called My Sacred Life. Perhaps it is a way to balance out the pendulum swing a little bit and not feel as if I'm swinging so wildly. So, I don't know if I'll offer a picture every day but I will think and look and be present with my sacred life at least once each day and try to offer a photo and some words about it here as time allows. I am grateful for my life and sometimes one just has to get out camera and with it's help open their eyes to all there is to be grateful about.
My husband made me comfort food tonight to cheer me up and put a smile of my face. And he gave me the perfect image to begin my sacred life series. Tomorrow we celebrate our 4th anniversary. Happy Anniversary Sweetness!

Watching over the daily lumps

I've begun the process of making daily lumps again. Here are a few of them. Fox wanted to get into the photo. I stopped making the lumps last year when I was too overwhelmed by mom's illness. Sometimes, one has to just stop AND trust there is a beginning coming again. So, I've begun this practice again. I'm still in the process of establishing a new habit so I admit I've forgotten a few days this week.

But that is what I want to highlight:

Even if I forget - I forgive myself. On a new day I'll show up and make my lump.

I've let myself really listen to what do I want? When I sit down to make that lump I've been telling myself it's okay to go with what I want....

I don't have to do it any particular way and I most certainly don't have to be clever. How many times do we stop ourselves in the creative process under the pressure of perfection and cleverness.

Some days I'm going to give myself a rest. That might mean I won't make a lump. I won't make anything in clay. Other days I am going to make a batch of creative heart seeds. I will rest in the enjoyment of shaping them. They are a longer time commitment because a batch takes about 3-4 times as long as a daily lump. It's okay if on a heart seed making day I count that as my daily lump.

I have also learned from the Writer's Spa - to have the phrase - "no forcing, not holding back" in the back of my mind and within my heart and hands as I work. This is Jennifer Louden's wise phrase. It is exactly what the lumps require - if I begin to force a sculpture -then I relax. If I'm stopping myself out of fear I give a bit more - add more vulnerability into it.

My lumps require I show up for a brief part of my day and not force and not hold back and allow what wants to come.

I know that I will kiln fire some of the lumps - however, after my experience last year of making them and firing all of them I've come to recognize that making them is more important than keeping them forever so I am going to allow myself to not fire all of them. The ones I do not fire will go into the recycle bin to become a lump another day. Isn't clay great?

I leave you with an image of Fox earlier today when he was blissfully in the sun. Doesn't he look relaxed? I hope you all are finding something to relax within too..........

Thanks Tinker!

Tinker gave me a little happy dance when I returned from the Writer's Spa. She sent me a Blogging Reflection Award! Thanks Tinker! All of Tinker's posts delight me. I also feel so much encouragement from Tinker if I could I'd send this award right back to her I would.

Dance over and visit Tinker if your are not already a regular fan.

So this is what I am to do next as I understand it:
"nominate 5 bloggers that are an encouragement, a source of love,
impact me in some way and who has provided a Godly example. In other
words, five cherished bloggers whom, when you reflect upon them, you are
filled with a sense of pride and joy"

I would pass along a nomination to Greenishlady because she and I started blogging about the same time and I'm always amazed by her lovely poetry and writing. I'm proud to have made a connection to this extraordinary writer. Since Tinker nominated her and I at the same time -I will direct you to Greenishlady's SoulFragments blog where she shows her wonderful soul collage cards. Sometimes I dream of going to Ireland and taking a soul collage workshop from Imelda.

I have not been keeping up in blog land. All the travel I've done this summer has really meant I've been unable to keep up my reading - so I may be renominating people - but I would next like to nominate Leah at Creative Everyday. She inspires me. Her encouragement to make art has always been a source of inspiration. Even before I ever became a blogger - Leah was encouraging me as a reader.

Annie gets the next nomination though I'm sure she's already been nominated. I just appreciate how absolutely nice, kind, and generous she is. I'm proud to know her through blogging and I'm so happy to see her blossoming lately.

Next I want to nominate Mahima because whenever I visit her blog her words and images cause me to reflect in unexpected ways. I always feel like creativity is possible and more inspired after I've visited Mahima's blog. I admit I'm not a regular visitor or commenter at her blog but lately, I just haven't been getting around to anywhere. Mahima is someone I'd like to make more of a connection with so I'm sending her this nomination.

Since it is 5 nominations I would like to finish out with a nomination to Be ... Dream ...Play. This lady is another blogger I have not left a lot of comments for - especially lately but every time I visit her blog I leave feeling refreshed by COLOR. If you want to feel inspired to play then go there.

I need a button on my sidebar that says blogging slow. I just feel like sometimes I cannot keep up, but that is okay. I love this process of blogging even when I cannot always get to everywhere and everything I'd like to touch upon I'm still happy to be a part of it. Grateful to play and dance and write and express with such creative women....

I'm having a word log jam...........

I've been sitting with my laptop for an hour. I have to write an artist's statement for a group art show I'm in this September. I usually don't have such a difficult time writing an artists statement but this time I'm just feeling pressured and blank. I want to write a blog post and I have a very rough draft saved for later but I recognize it won't be ready tonight. I have a back log of email - some from new friends I've made at the Writer's Spa - yet I'm not making progress on that either. As much as I'd like to get around and read my blog friends and leave them all lots of comments I hope they can wait a little longer.

The only words that are coming to me right now are I'm overwhelmed.

I'm going to go to bed. Tomorrow morning I'm going to a yoga class - and I hope that sleep - the dawn of a new day - some yoga will conspire to get those words all jammed up in me flowing out again into their proper places. Maybe the dream weavers will come tonight and help me sort it out.............

Blossoms

The lotus- only grows in the muck - rises above to bloom. This may be my new floral symbol. I discovered yesterday while researching Lakshmi for one of my clay mandalas that she is often pictured standing in a lotus blossom. I have managed to spend several hours with my clay work this week.

On other levels I feel a bit overwhelmed. The Writer's Spa has set my creative cogs spinning in three areas - clay and handcrafting work, writing and blogging work, and creativity groups and teaching work. I have a better sense of how they are all linked together and that all three must be weaved together. I know I must not let other things (i.e. -housework, stuff from my mother's estate, clutter -the need to get more organized, and even web surfing and correspondence) have a higher priority. YET -I'm feeling a bit out of balance with my return from the Writer's Spa.

I keep reminding myself it is little by little. Sometimes my little seems like not enough and oh, does the critic come and use that as ammunition. All the shoulds come racing forward. Inside I feel this fierce wild animal fighting for creative time. Little by little I will find some balance. I will soon post some clay work photos, I will add some new links, I will get around and visit all my blogging friends. Soon.......... in the meantime I have to work on my roots - down in the muck.......and by golly get through that mountain of laundry at least!

Finding Balance

Whew! Part of going on retreat I am realizing is finding one's balance again post-retreat. I've been giving myself lots of time to integrate the spa and my creative inspirations. I'm grateful to have had some time and space for this -BUT I have a mountain of laundry, need to buy food, need to do all these things that are demanding my attention. So I am off to go do these things and I'm stating here for the record:

I trust I will find balance. I can take care of these things and the creative impulses will still be there once I return.

So my wish for you dear readers -

how can you find the balance you need in your life?

What can you give attention to because it is demanding attention - maybe it is a child or an aging parent or a job - and how are you going to remain connected to your own creative impulses?

Can you entertain trust, can you set aside a few minutes to just breathe and connect to your creative project in your mind and heart?

I will no doubt run around like a crazy woman today but I am also going to reserve a little room in my mind and heart to stay connected and tomorrow I'll be back into the studio...........

Follow your come alive impulse

I walked my back yard labyrinth this morning. I prayed for guidance. The wonderful shimmer of the Writer's Spa has worn off. I could allow that to get me really depressed as if I've lost something. Or I could be with what is. Yes, the glow isn't as strong and the harsh reality of taxes, to do lists, and making a living are chomping at my heals. Yet, there is a gift here in just slowing down and settling into what is happening in this moment now.
Standing in my labyrinth, I asked for guidance. As I walked back out of the labyrinth I remembered that during the spa my cell phone rang in the middle of the night. It was a wrong number. Upon being startled awake I decided to listen to the radio until my heartbeat came back down to normal. This is what I heard within a sermon about one's purpose and God's plan. The minister or preacher (I don't know who he was) said this "You must do what you know otherwise all that you do not know will paralyze you."


So this morning, I know how to show up at my studio. I know what the next steps are for my current clay mandala. I know how to sit down and make a daily lump (I began those again!). I may not know how I'm going to do a thousand things I feel called to do. I may not know how I'll learn what I need to learn. I cannot worry about those things. Some things one just has to say to them- "I will not be paralyzed by you" and trust that Divine Spirit will show me the way as I am ready to take a risk. Right now, my only job is to show up and follow what makes me come alive. Each day is a new opportunity to be in that present moment. So the glow of the spa has worn off but that is only a problem if I grasp at trying to hold onto it.

Maybe I could take a different approach - maybe I could slip into wonderment - and I wonder what would happen if I follow my next come alive impulse.......I know how to write and and post on my blog...and I know where my studio is.......off I go.....to work......

Back from the Writer's Spa

I have been back for a few days now and yes, I know of at least one person (thanks sis) who's been looking for a post. It was the most amazing - soul enriching - artist nourishing experience. I'm not exaggerating either. Every single woman there was a wonderful woman and I just know I've made some life long friends. I have also made some deeper connections with myself. I did some more grieving and I gave myself permission to just "be with what is."
The week has opened my eyes to my purpose. I feel a connection to this authentic place and a willingness to just show up. The details of where I am going are not as important as the importance of listening to one's heart say - go there that's a juicy spot and having the courage to stick with the juicy spots. Also trusting Divine Spirit.....

I had a chance to watch a flicker bird. A flicker is a kind of woodpecker. I actually had the opportunity all in the same day to watch 4 different flicker birds on the ground feeding on ants. Now these birds knew I was standing there, but they had found a juicy spot and they were not leaving it until they absolutely had to because I either moved in like a predator or they had been fully nourished. They taught me a lot about staying with the good stuff. Just because you have these vague things in the background (like fear of the blank page) doesn't mean you have to bolt away. Find the nourishment and AND allow yourself to receive the nourishment.

So, I returned home and gave myself the weekend to transition. I had such a lovely reunion with my husband. I avoided rush rush or cleaning too much or calling everyone I know. I didn't come here to post for a few days just to give myself time to settle in to the being home again after being on retreat.

On Saturday night we had these double rainbows appear to the East of our home. The one rainbow was the brightest rainbow I've ever seen as an adult. As a kid I remember some bright rainbows and I wonder if it's because as a kid your eyes are fresh. This rainbow we could see had a full arc - end to end. A double rainbow end to end. I feel blessed to have gone on this retreat and these photos - though taken at home sum up the Writer's spa experience. They express the joy and gratitude I feel not just toward Jennifer and Suzanne and the other women but toward myself too.

I learned:
Tears are okay
they freshen my seeing.
My heart is willing.
Divine Spirit lead the way.

This morning I practically ran into my studio and worked in the clay so as the days unfold I will be sharing more about that.......until then.......ask yourself what is next?
What is next? ......let your heart give you an answer.
See if it is possible to follow that impulse....and if all you feel you have the time for is a split second to follow that impulse.........then allow yourself.....give yourself permission to be nourished by that split second.