Memorial Weekend

Whew! It has been a whirlwind weekend. I feel like I've been in a blender. It was a sweet and playful weekend.....though hectic. My family - brothers, spouses, their young adult children all came to town. We placed our parents urns into a cemetery wall. There were some tears but the weekend wasn't a sad occasion overall. Our parents specifically did not want funerals. We, as their children needed something and I think in our informal and unique ways a healing event occurred. Of course I can only speak for myself.

We did lots of group photos - having us all in one place is a BIG occasion! And we also looked through old photos and memorabilia. We looked at my Dad's photos and "stuff" from when he served in WWII. My brother was in Vietnam. We never could get my Dad to talk about the war and I had not heard much from my brother either. There was something incredibly special about being able to look at this stuff with my brother on Memorial Weekend.
Our hope is that we will make a reunion type of meeting a more frequent event in the future.


Before the weekend began my sister and I took a quick trip to the Albuquerque Fiber Arts Fiesta. That was a lot of fun. A knitters group was doing a fund raiser for the S.A.F.E. house. I took a picture of their VW bug car cozy! Patched together from fiber artists' handwork submissions.

I love the headlight covers

And the license plate

Inside the fiesta we got to see some amazing quilts, weavings, bead work, dolls, and more.


Somewhere in amongst the preparations for the weekend I had a quiet moment to take the Sunday Scribble topic "simple" and merge it with my thoughts. If you didn't see it through the Sunday Scribble links you can find it here. And if you saw it - I fixed the typo that was posted all weekend - oops! thanks k

Spider Meditation

Way back in February I re-committed to meditation practice. Actually, I committed to being more consistent with practice. I even gave myself stars for each session. It was a visual reminder to help me establish the habit. I achieved my goal of 40 days consistent practice - though I never reported it here.

Today I want to report that I've kept up my practice of 15 minutes sitting in the AM and PM. There were some days initially that I missed a session - or a day. When that happened my husband would say - "oh a black star for you" - that was a gentle reminder to just get back to it the next session - the next opportunity.

Lately, I've found myself slipping and forgetting a little more. Maybe that is why I feel the need to post this update. It's a reminder to me to set my intention for consistency and to follow through. When I am consistent I have a very unexpected benefit which encourages me to stay consistent - I have found that I fall asleep easier and tend to sleep better.

Wouldn't it be nice if one could just say - I'm going to do this (whatever it is - meditation, weight loss, exercise, creativity, etc)....and it was so easy that forever after you uttered your intention you just did it. I think it would be nice and boring. It's good one has to work for change. It makes it feel all the better when one achieves the success of change.

Where I can get myself into trouble is in not honoring the work involved. Wanting it to be easy and wanting there to be no doubts, no disturbances, no sacrifices. As soon as I come up against one of those obstacles and miss my mark do I just give up? I am slowly learning to introduce change in small ways. Little by little is my philosophy. Over time those little changes really add up but in the moment a small step avoids the overwhelming fear of change. And if one slips there is another small step just around the corner to get back to it.

Do I forget a meditation session? - yes sometimes. Does life get in the way and disrupt my plan?-yes it does. AND I go back. I say to myself that was then and I return. What I try to avoid is placing shoulds on myself or talking mean to myself for the miss. Do I sometimes do those things to myself anyway- of course I am human! My intention is to bring loving kindness to myself as well as others. So on my best days I gently return to my work.

Last night I was meditating and my cat started chasing something up the wall. I got up to investigate and to stop my cat from knocking everything off the shelf. It was a spider. I fetched a drinking glass. My husband flipped through the Oprah magazine on the bedside table for a stiff reply card insert and then he caught the spider. We looked at it and we released it outside. I watched it through the glass door and thought wow that spider can move really fast. I marveled at the design of this spider. Then, I proceeded to go back to my meditation cushion. I had used up 7 minutes of my meditation session. I had a choice to make up those seven minutes. Last night I chose not to - I just completed what time was left. Another night I might have added seven minutes back in.

In the moment I can choose to be flexible about it. -to allow and to support my decision. There is no should.

Spider came to me in meditation - I may go look up the metaphysical meaning of spider. In the Native American tradition she is the Great Creator. She's coming to you now to ask - how in little by little ways can you create the change you want in your life.................one strand of silk at a time...........

Hello regular readers and anyone new - welcome. I've branched out a little bit and posted my Sunday Scribbling over here.

sneak peek

Here's a little sneak peek at one of my plates. My art group talked me into showing with them in September. I was prepared to drop out fearing I wouldn't have the work finished. So far I only have two plates or mandalas(another word for what they are). Actually, they aren't finished because I was going to glaze them. But now after showing them to my group and discussing it I may just leave them unglazed. If anything I'll add a touch of color to them some other way - acrylics, metallic powder?
I have one more to be fired. I may make more ????? The goal for the show was to have 12. I know already that to achieve that goal I'd have to sacrifice other things in my life and I'm unwilling to do that. Yet what I have is two.
The group was very supportive. They said why don't you show those two (and reminded me to be open to the possibility I could still make more). They even had very good reasons for why it would be alright to show them as they were - unglazed. I said okay in a very unsure of myself way. But I have been settling into the idea of it. More and more I like the idea of leaving the clay - just as it is - it has mica in it so it sparkles and glaze would begin to mask it.

This turn got me thinking about being closed. I had worked myself into a place where I was allowing fear - mostly my fear of creating close me off. I was blinded and could not see what I already had created by all the ideas of what I thought it all should be. Oh those shoulds are a killer.

Which leads me to another thought - one which coincides with Freedom from Self Improvement - I'm inspired to live a life that isn't about shoulds. Too often I feel I should be doing something other than what I am doing. What a joy killer. It's time to stop "shoulding" on myself. Perhaps, before September I'll make more pieces - who knows what might happen when one removes all the shoulds.........

Celebrate

I've stayed on task today and gotten some work done. I've been spending 15 minutes on tasks and then switching to something else. I'm doing this because if I don't rotate around - I'll spend all day in one area and end the day in a panic that all the other areas have been ignored. This way I feel like I've attended to my life little by little.

I have also been taking regular breaks. This is so important I think I will make it bold

I have also been taking regular breaks.

On one such break I was doing a little surfing and stumbled upon Jennifer Louden's new creation. And it just so happens to be Freedom from Self-Improvement day. Oh, I do believe we all need a holiday like this one.

Okay, well I'm going to go celebrate by doing my most favorite thing to bliss out and just Be. I am going to go take a bath...........what will you do today or tomorrow or whenever you discover that it's okay to just hang out in your innate perfection!
The fun lasts all week - so go check it out!

Learning names making friends

We went on a wildflower hike and learned what some of the plants and wildflowers are in this area. William W Dunmire was our expert and I can't wait to get a copy of his book - unfortunately we didn't have any cash with us to purchase it directly from him after the hike.

click on images to enlarge
this is the feather dalea

I think the plant I am most excited to identify is a small scrub with little tiny fuscia blooms. A common name for it is feather dalea or feather indigo bush. It's on our property and all around this area and I've been wondering how to identify it. The blooms are not very big. Mr Dunmire told us it is very common and related to the Pea family. And sure enough when one looks very close - the blooms are very much like a bloom on a pea plant. It's Latin name is Dalea formosa

gilia with bladderpod

The other plant I am excited to have an identification for is this little sweet blue wildflower. It's a gilia. I had a little trouble remembering that at first. It's not very big so it might not be the first wildflower one would notice, but it's very common here and I really wanted to know what to call it. It's Latin name is Gilia rigidula

If you could drive up to my house, park your car and walk up to my door the wildflower you would notice right now is the bladderpod. Funny name for this bright yellow flowering plant. If one looks closely at the the way the seeds pods form its name makes more sense. When this plant first appears I get fooled and I doubt it is bladderpod - once it grows bigger it's easy to identify. Thanks to my neighbor I've known it's name since the time we moved here. But I've learned its Latin name Lesquerella fendleri.

The picture below is one I took this morning looking down at the ground. At the bottom of the frame is the feather dalea, then all the bladderpod, and amongst that you'll see the gilia. Click on the photo to enlarge.


I swear once you learn something's name it becomes a friend at least I feel that way about these wildflowers. You'll meet more friends on future posts.

walking

This is the only digital photo I have of the labyrinth at my old house. I thought I had posted it before, but I couldn't find it in my archives. I have other photos taken from the rooftop view - but until I have a scanner I won't be able to show you. Speaking of scanners I hope to have one hooked up soon so I can begin scanning all these family photos (more on that later).

The labyrinth at my old house came to be because I had this curved patio. When I bought that house there was no longer a lawn - it was just a blank space. I was thinking of doing a circular rock and plant design and then I stumbled onto a book about labyrinths. I realized I had just enough room to put in a labyrinth.

When you live in the desert you look for ways to do landscaping in way that does not require a lot of water. Around here, it is not uncommon to hear upon inquiry of how was your weekend - oh, we moved a lot of rock.

When our current house was built the back had to be torn up to put in the septic system. Now we have a space to put in the labyrinth I showed you on my last post. This labyrinth will evolve as we go along but it's great to have the design of it already here enough to walk.

This weekend I'll be walking through a wildflower hike and hopefully learning what some of these plants are called. I'll be walking through a few of the art studios of Placitas artists. I'll be walking through my first mother's day without my Mom. It was one year ago that we learned my Mom was sick. As I walk I'll be thinking of my Mom.

As I walk I'm be sending love to my sister and my brother's. As I walk, I'll be sending healing thoughts to two of my Aunts who lost sons this year. I'll be sending healing thoughts to other bloggers who have lost their mother's this year. As I walk I'll be sending loving kindness to all who have lost someone dear to them. I have to admit I'm not looking forward to walking through the day. Tears will be there, but I hope joy in living and remembering good times too.

Yet, walk I will. Walk I must. One step at a time is the only way we make it through all these life transitions. So my heart goes out to everyone this weekend. I will walk the labyrinth and send a Happy Mother's day to all mothers and their children.

Back to it.........

I took a two week blog break. The first week was all about getting my parent's house on the market. It was an exhausting week. Last week was somewhere between here and back there. What I mean is that it passed by with a kind of transitional ease. I wasn't in the thick of it anymore with the estate and Mom's house. There were a few details - repairs, meeting the real estate agent, etc. I did some other things for myself like getting to the dentist, and going to yoga, and meeting my art group. I wasn't in the job of what I'd been doing for 5 months anymore and yet I wasn't into a new routine either - hence the week seemed to pass by without much definition. I just wasn't in the mood to try to read or write blogs so I had an unannounced break.



Several weeks ago on Earth Day (as it coincidentally turned out) my husband and I planned out exactly where our backyard labyrinth is going to be. My husband really wanted to get working on the backyard and he needed to know where the labyrinth will be. We will probably do most of the work around the edges of the labyrinth and then finalize the labyrinth last. It will probably get some crushed gravel for the walk and more rocks to define the path. In the center we plan to put some sort of stone benches. The really nice part of this plan is that although the labyrinth isn't finished it is there. I am now able to walk it.

Labyrinths are good for transitions. I'm very glad to have the labyrinth back. When we moved I had to leave my backyard labyrinth behind. Though we knew we'd create another one here at the new house. It seems to me, that the very act of walking a labyrinth helps one understand and settle into transitions. You enter and walk around and then switch back and walk around and then switchback again - making seven circuits(switchbacks) until you get to the center. All those switchbacks can feel disorienting if you're not familiar with the movement. I find it very comforting to be able to use this form of movement again. It reminds me that life is filled with transitions but there is a larger pattern (usually). Just keep placing one foot in front of the other.

This particular design is called a seven circuit. I made the center bigger (appox 6 feet by 6.5 feet). Changing the center makes the whole thing stretch and change shape. On the right hand side - kind of where that yellow bucket is we need a pathway beside the labyrinth so we can walk down to the mailbox or down to get the Sunday paper. I sort of fit the design into the space I had and I love how the outcome looks like a brain. I think walking the labyrinth is good for your brain. Or at least right now my brain feels calmed by it.