Magique's Day 2nd Installment

If you are just tuning in - read about who is Magique and read the 1st installment of her story......now we will go back to pre-Magique days.......

Several years before I ever created Magique I had a friend Monika who created a life size doll. Monika was a graduate student in the same art department where I was studying undergraduate photography. She created Momo using muslin. She also applied photographs and wrote text on Momo. Then she began carrying Momo everywhere she went. I mean that quite literally because I know that Momo rode the bus and attended classes. I remember Monika calling Momo her alter ego. She was to help Monika grieve loss. Yet Momo turned into a performance art piece - she turned into a study of human behavior.

I was just an undergraduate student at the time. Struggling to find my path. I thought Monika was a wonderful person. She was older and had lived quite a life and I don't think she has any idea the enormous impact she made on my life. She kept me sane by being a generous mentor and friend. Unfortunately, time and distance has caused our friendship to lag - but occassionally we will send a card or email - (I love you Monika).

I had the opportunity to take Momo on a trip to New Mexico. She met my parents, my sister and her husband and my new little nephew (My gosh - that nephew is now 15!!!!). My trip with Momo included an overnight stay at the Great Sand Dunes in Southern Colorado. I think the guy at the pay booth thought I was a little wacky when I introduced him to Momo. That was the fun of Momo though - to see people's first reaction to her. Momo had a way of bringing out something in people that they may not easily express if it hadn't been for her. Sometimes it brought out the worst in people like the time Monika witnessed teenage boys kicking her.

In my own family, I got to see my dad get quite mischeivous and playful with her. For my Dad it was all about getting a reaction out of you using Momo as a prop. My mom took the time to read all the text written on Momo. I wrote in my journal how she giggled while reading some of it. She also used Momo as a photography subject. She had a new camera and she did all sorts of fun photo techniques using Momo as her model.

For me, Momo and Monika were magical creatures. They did outrageous things and sort of broke through my inhibitions. They touched a deeper need in me to be expressive and creative and that it was absolutely okay to feel different and be different. At my young age I don't think I fully understood Monika's need to create this doll to help her grieve. I had no idea back then that my trip with Momo to visit my family would create such wonderful memories. My dad is no longer here and my mom is very sick now - but because of Monika and Momo I have memories that I cherish.

The picture above - is me and Momo taken in the backyard of my parents home. Momo is wearing socks to protect her feet.

Oscar's recovery

Oscar watched the birds and resumed his normal activities today......

He is doing very well after his tooth extractions. A tip for future cat owners practice wrapping a towel around your kitten and grabbing the scruff of its neck - trust me you'll thank me later when the time comes and you have to give your 6 yr old cat a syringe of medicine into the mouth.
It's been a bit rough lately. I'm not a very good blog writer when I haven't slept for several nights. I am discovering that as a blog writer I am terrible at wanting to write when the going gets tough - I seem to have lost words and inspiration.
I'm out of sorts and I really don't want to blog about it. But I haven't been very creative lately - so my options for posts are minimal. In the next several weeks I will have 3 different sets of house guests - so I want you all to know that my posting will begin to get kind of inconsistent and sketchy in the next 3 weeks. I haven't abandoned this blog - it's just summer time.
Oh and Oscar wants you to have some purrs..............

Magique's Day 1st Installment

Update: If you don't know who Magique is you can first check out this post

The other day when I had the chance to putter about in my studio - Magique told me to post her story in little segments. So that is what I'm going to do and since today is Saturday - maybe I'll make it Magique's day on Saturday.

Magique was created in 1995. She exists because in 1994 I had the opportunity of meeting a wonderful woman named Leslie Verdi. Leslie offered a yearlong therapy group called "Journey of the Doll" She wanted an assistant for her group that year and I answered her call because I made spiritdolls. Magique is the result of Leslie's class. Magique was also inspired by my friend Monika and her doll Momo. In future installments of Magique's story I will tell you about Leslie's class and Momo and much more.

Today I present a picture of me with Magique taken at the show in 1995 where we presented our dolls to the public for the first time.

Oscar

This is my dear sweet Ocsar. He's only 6 years old, but a few years ago he started showing signs of dental trouble. We just got back from the vet and now the poor thing has a broken tooth. Next week he'll be going in for a - full dental cleaning tooth extracting not a fun time visit to the vet.

He's a very good kitty - loving and purry. And he plays and talks a lot about his mouse. We got home and he spent some time cleaning himself of all the icky vet dirt. Now he's talking to his mouse and he's forgiven me for the awful car ride and the yucky morning.

So this is just to say thanks for the comments. My stay at home yesterday refreshed my spirit. I got absolutely nothing accomplished - but that is exactly what I needed. Back into it I go after I eat lunch. A good day or afternoon or evening to you where ever you are in the world.

Today's weather forecast calls for 50 mph wind.

I am staying home today. It isn't an easy choice to make because I feel like I ought to go attend to my mom - but my sister has it covered and after last nights post I recognize when I just have to take care of myself. I tell myself that this is important if I am going to be any good for anyone else - but still it is hard to let go into it. The days plan is to purely putter and go into my studio - even if all I do is sift and sort and sit.

I'm neglecting my blog - oh I know it has only been a few days - but I know already I am neglecting it. Tonight it feels like I want to pack my bags and run away from home. Of course I'd like to take my home and my studio and my husband and my cats with me. Oh, maybe I mean I'd like to stay home. I need a vacation at home with no caretaking responsibilities and no worries.

I was sitting in the waiting room of a cancer center today. Waiting while my mom had this big long test. As I watched people come and go I thought this place has nice architecture - a friendly staff - beautiful artwork on the walls and yet each patient walks in not fully comprehending all the lingo. I heard this receptionist ask are you here for CBC? The lady looked puzzled and said I don't know what that is? Blood work the receptionist said, "Oh, I'm here for that." She was probably taking her first steps in learning medical lingo to navigate the maze of cancer treatment.

And we still don't know what direction our maze with my dear mom will take.....but I had time to sit there and feel - feel sad, feel confused, feel angry, feel hopeful. When I had too much of that I sat and read The Da Vinci Code - but even that couldn't quite kept my full attention. I kept looking for my mom to emerge from the radioactive hub of the building and I was relieved to see her sweet face recognizing mine as she came back into the waiting room.

Sunday Scribble {11}

Topic for this week's Sunday Scribble - MYSTERY-

"if you could have ANY mystery unveiled for you, what would it be? It can be cosmic, personal, political, whatever. What deep unanswered or even unanswerable question would you want to have revealed for your eyes only? What do you dearly want to KNOW? Also, if you want, what would your prefer never to know? What would best remain a mystery?

And if you find yourself stumped, you can always just use the word "mystery" as a free-writing prompt. To me it's a word with many shades of meaning, a delicious, eerie word."

I want my mysteries to remain mysteries. If I want to know anything- it is to know how to embrace and appreciate the mysterious because it is this love affair with the unknown that keeps me interested in creating. As an artist, as a writer, and as an explorer of creativity knowing how to woo the mysterious is essential. Sometimes it is more like wrestling with mystery than an elegant dance, but it is this interaction and longing for it that keeps me working in the field of creativity.

I never quite know what I will write when I sit down. I may have a topic to write about - I may even have some words hovering about in my head, but once I begin to get it down I do not know what will appear until it does. Mystery is the driving force behind this activity for me. As I write I allow connections from point A to point B to be made and how pleasurable it is to see and feel it take form. Even when it is finished I want to kiss the mystery for its appearance.

I've thought so much and written a lot about this topic in the last couple of days. I notice this morning that I have a desperation to really honor MYSTERY. I want to write something really pithy and astounding. Something that would cause you my readers to say - wow. This tells me how much I care about the mystery behind creation. The mystery behind life. And yet I recognize I cannot force it to appear. You have to allow and open to it. It comes when it comes. It is that very unknown that keeps me writing - keeps me looking - keeps me always wooing the mystery.

It also has become apparent that in those moments when I am fully engaged in creating - whether it is through writing or through visual arts - when the mystery appears and ideas, images,textures and emotions emerge I am in a deep process of BEING - I am fully in the present moment and knowing the answer to the mystery is never as important as living the question.

I will leave this scribble as it is - though I want to rewrite and rewrite because just the very act of pondering the mysterious has caused me to feel more alive, more in tune, and more at peace. However, it is time to publish this scribble and move on to other creations. Go to Sunday Scribble for more mysteries revealed.

I leave you with a few quotes I dug up that say it in that pithy astounding way......

The job of the artist is always to deepen the mystery -Francis Bacon

Eric Maisel says, "Mystery is the artist's first subject of study, her best subject--even her only subject."

Mysteries are not to be solved:
the eye goes blind
when it only wants to see why -Rumi

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. -Albert Einstein

Studio Friday - my favorite supplies

Studio Friday Topic - FAVE ARTIST SUPPLY/IES

Oooo, la, la I just look at this picture and I want to go get into the clay. These are some of my favorite tools to use with clay. There are stamps I made myself out of clay. There are the alphabet cutters because I just love to make words. All of it is sitting on the two new texture mats I purchased this last spring - the green makes a small fish scale pattern and the blue makes a rock pattern - I want more of those texture mats so the next time I'm in the ceramic store if they have them in stock you can almost guarantee I'll be walking out with more. Now, after gazing at all these favorite supplies I must go create something!

See more at Studio Friday.

living and creating while in the middle of everything.

Yesterday morning Blogger wasn't working so well and I couldn't write this update. Ah, but today is a new day and I'm thankful for that......

First of all, if you have been reading here you may be wondering how my mom is doing. Well, we still don't have any further information and due to unavoidable schedule problems we are having to wait until next week for her to have the next big test.

Next, I told Tinker I would write up Magique's story. I am working on that - but it is turning out to be more work than I realized so it is taking me a little while to get it into a blog length. After the last Sunday Scribble which worked so directly with memories my mind is really churning. I think I have forgotten some of Magique's story. I also think that after more than ten years with her my memories of making her have changed. If only I could have blogged about her creation - then I could just give you the links - hee, hee. So far I've been enjoying the challenge of writing and will eventually get it posted.

Then, the biggest thing that I feel I have hanging out there in blog land is my idea to start a creative process group. I'm really thinking about doing it. It was something that came into my head as I wrote my last post. Yet, it's grabbed my attention and I find myself thinking about it. Also, I've noticed something about my energy since I thought of this group - I feel a little bit of the excitement and challenge that I felt while participating in the Artist's Way group.

With my mom sick I need something that is connected to my passion and my life. Almost 12 years ago when my Dad died I did something I probably should not have done. I dropped my life. I mean I dropped it whole and completely. I was 25 without a lot of responsibilities and it was easy to just drop everything like school, friends, eating healthy, and most of all creativity. Though I do not regret being with my father through his dying in hindsight I know what a heavy price I paid for it. It took me years to seperate myself from all of it and to individuate back into my own person and find my life passions again.

So, with this in mind I am determined to learn from those lessons and I feel like now is as good a time as any to begin a new creativity adventure. Eric Maisel in his book Coaching the Artist Within says you have to learn how to create in the middle of things. I feel like I am right in the middle of things and my 37 year old self knows now what my 25 year old self had to learn which is there is no possibility of dropping everything - there is only living and creating while in the middle of everything.

Sometimes I think I ought to start my own group

Ah, blog time is very short sometimes. Things move by quickly. It's only been about 2 months since I wrote my Blogging the Artist Way finale. Today I did a little reorganizing of my sidebar links. Mostly I put them in alphabetical order. I'm sure I will continue to change them. I think I will remove the Blogging the Artist's Way button soon. I just didn't quite have the heart to take it away yet.

I miss that group. I miss Kat. Bless Kat's heart she's getting married and needed to take a blogging break. It has been slowly sinking in that what I really loved about the AW group was how it fed my passion. I love to read or hear about other's creative process - the struggle and the triumph. I found all of it so inspiring.

I also miss Greenishlady. Oh, I hope she is having a fabulous journey. I anticipate the day when she returns to tell us all about it.

There are others I miss too. In Otter Space is less active and I just know that's because school is out and she and her kids are enjoying the new porch. I miss Eliza - I miss Laura - I miss Tess. I guess in some ways I feel like school is out for summer and I'm going through a phase where I miss my friends.

Ah, but new blog things are occurring. Poetry Thursday is wonderful. One of these days I may join the group - but mostly I just like to go around and see what poems everyone is sharing.

The Sunday Scribble takes me all week to read and I don't always leave comments - but this group is fun. Also I've made some new connections which mean a lot to me - Paris Parfait - thank you for leaving me comments over the last few weeks.

There are really too many of you to acknowledge, but let this be a thank you to you (yes, I mean you) if you've been coming to read and especially if you've left a comment. I'd like to pretend a comment doesn't matter - but it does - and so I vow to try to leave more comments at blogs I visit.

Sometimes I think I ought to start my own group. I so badly want to have more time to participate in all the wonderful groups out there so it seems unrealistic to me to create yet another group. However, I miss the creative process sharing we had in the Blogging The Artist Way group. What continues to inspire me and cause me to go searching around blogland is to know how the creative process is going for you? Where are you getting stuck? Where could you use a little support? What would you like to cheer about?

Everyday we get up and we create our lives. My blog group would be all inclusive. Anyone who felt like they had something to say about creating or creativity or their process in creating could leave a link. It could be any kind of post - writing, photos, collage, food, books - etc...... I know this already sounds like all the blogs I already read because there is a reason I read the blogs I do - you all have creative sparks flying out of your posts.

Still, I think how cool it would be to have a gathering spot to share creative support while participating in this thing called life. So leave me a comment if you have a "creative process post"

Sunday Scribble {10}

Here is a haiku for the Sunday Scribble topic "earliest memory"

For more Sunday Scribbles find the links here

Studio Friday - Space

This week's Studio Friday topic is Space.

I am lucky enough to have a 3.5 foot by 8 foot closet in my studio. As you can see from this photo it is packed floor to ceiling. Most of this stuff you see used to live on shelving in my old studio - it was a crowded space - but in my new house I made sure I had a big closet to be able to put stuff away.

If you click on the photo you can view it a little larger. Almost everything in this closet was moved from the old studio and put into the closet. Now, I have the job of reworking the stuff to be aligned inside this new space. Some may need to be purged. Some just needs to be organized differently. The only thing that is really working right now is the shelf I have to store my daily lumps while they dry before they go to the kiln.

To see other space configurations go to Studio Friday and follow the links