Studio Friday - Comfort

Technically this photo wasn't not taken in my studio. At least not in my designated creativity room. However, there is another place in my home that I do a lot of creating - at my computer- and here is Fox sleeping - oh so comforting to gaze at. My two cats give me so much comfort and I just love it when they curl up and sleep near me while I'm creating whether in my studio or at my computer.
To find more comfort go to Studio Friday and follow the links.

Poetry Thursday

I discovered this poem in a book called Loving-Kindness : The Revolutionary Art of Happiness by Sharon Salzberg. It's a book that is very soothing to the soul. This poem my yoga teacher often reads to us at the beginning of class when we are lying on our mats and breathing deep. It's a nice way to take it in.

The poem was written by Galway Kinnell

The bud
stands for all things,
even for those things that don't flower,
for everything flowers, from within, of self-blessing;
though sometimes it is necessary
to reteach a thing its loveliness,
to put a hand on the brow
of the flower,
and retell it in words and in touch,
it is lovely
until it flowers again from within, of self-blessing


If you would like to read more poetry go to Liz Elayne's and follow the links.

Now go plant your creative seeds!

Yesterday, I had a wonderful meeting with a friend at her studio. We got to talk about art and art making and determining direction - in others words how to go for our dreams. I also got to see some of this friend's wonderful art. That all by itself is nourishment for my soul. I have a lot of little clay ideas cooking right now and I need to keep the lid on tight until I've made them and played with them - but it's a good feeling to have these little projects starting to simmer all around me.

Endment got me thinking about seeds yesterday. I was telling my friend that I want to take this clay sculpture class that was recently recommended to me. I have this dilemma in that the timing of the class isn't very good. I'll miss part of it and it's up in Santa Fe and I'm just not prepared to give more weeks of time to another class up there so soon. I think this teacher will teach again in the area, but I inquired about it and he hasn't committed to anything specific yet. So, I was feeling like if I don't take this class being offered now then I've missed my chance forever. Of course that means I'm thinking about it in a way that is just causing me all this anxiety. My friend was very loose about it and said it's a seed - and don't you think it's nice to have these possibilities waiting for later. oh, she's right. It's nice to have some seeds stored away for later. I don't have to go take this class right now. I can look at it as a seed. Hopefully, I will get the chance to plant it later. Because of Endment I'd been musing about seeds and then this came up in the conversation in a way that made me suddenly shift my constricted thinking.

Then, this morning I read Greenishlady. She was talking about the Artist Way exercise from week 11 that instructs you to buy a special creativity notebook. Give each of these categories it's own page - health, possessions, leisure, relationships, creativity, career, and spirituality. Then under each category write 10 wishes. I didn't do this exercise. Greenishlady was mentioning that she did it the first time she went through the Artist Way and forgot about the notebook. Much later she discovered how many of her wishes had actually come true over the years.

Well, in my head I put this together with the seed idea and bing! - that's it. I get it. As artists we generate a lot of ideas, vibes, possibilities and it's important to have storage for these seeds. Putting them in a notebook and then just letting the notebook be forgotten is almost like planting a wildflower garden. You put the seeds out there into the field - you don't know what you're gonna get to grow - but you just plant and let it be. That exercise in the AW isn't about tending a garden - it's about planting wild seeds or even storing some for later.

To be a creative alive person we need to have lots of little places to tuck away seed ideas and I think whether you put them all in one special notebook or write them down and store them away in every nook and cranny of your home - the act of writing them down is like magic. It gives them a special fertility. On a similar note this is a special week. I'm not an astrologer - but I like astrology because it is a creative language - so I dip into it every once in a while. On Wednesday there is a new moon solar eclipse. It happens at 3:16am in the Mountain Time Zone - 5:16am Eastern Time. In these days leading up to the new moon in Aries - (a sign of new beginnings and spring) muse about your wishes. Then after the new moon occurs preferable in the 24 hours following write them down. Try it - you don't even have to believe any of it - but there is something fertile and magical about writing down your wishes - generating seeds - if nothing else you are participating in spring.

I leave you with this thought. My friend yesterday was reminding me of one of my favorite Mary Oliver poems The Summer Day. I leave you with the last few lines of that poem:

Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

AW checkin penultimate Week 11

Gosh the week went by fast. I feel my blog is being neglected and I haven't really gotten around to looking at too many other blogs either. I think - oh no - the thrill of being a new blogger is gone. Maybe that has a little bit to do with it - it's not the addiction it was 8 to 12 weeks ago.

I recognize I just can't do everything that I want to do - it is something I am trying to come to terms with and set priorities and learn how to manage time as best as I can.
I know that I needed to catch up on some paperwork and get in place a tracking system for my to do items. I know one night this week I normally don't watch much tv but I just got sucked right into it. In fact, I did my daily lump on the commercial breaks - it was a tv with a little sucking face inside of it. The addiction to blogging just didn't pull me in that night. I also noticed this week that if I give into getting some other things done then I take away completely time to blog. A shift of season is an opportunity to re-balance - to break out of stagnation yes - but then also to teeter until balance is restored.

With the shift of seasons newly underfoot I feel a certain need to shift myself. I guess I do my shifting by cleaning, tackling procrastinated to do items, and sort of turning inward to envision what's next? It all seems to be coming at a time when the Artist's Way is winding down. I'll be so interested to see how we all will proceed after it's officially over. I really want to stay connected.

I am thinking about a few things to follow after the Artist Way process. What I seem to need most is a slow process of prioritizing and sticking with my projects through to completion. It's easy for me to become too scattered. Actually, these two books I want to take a look at - I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was : How to Discover What You Really Want and How to Get It and this book, The Renaissance Soul : Life Design for People with Too Many Passions to Pick Just One. Both of these books the library has so I am going to check them out. Then I think I may start following Sark's book Make Your Creative Dreams Real. I feel the need to keep following some book to help keep me on track. That is one thing I think this Artist's Way process has really helped me with - is staying on a track and not scattering myself away.

I keep writing my morning pages and doing my daily lumps. I will keep doing those. I read chapter 11 of the Artist's Way, but I haven't done any of the exercises. I also read chapter 12 this week. I guess I am ready to move on......teetering as I may.......

I went on an artist date this week to this store - Keshi. It was fun to look around. Their website is excellent. So even if you cannot go into the physical store location you can still take a look around as I did. Better get this posted before I edit it to death.......

Spring Fever

I had it in me much earlier today to write a blog entry. I did write - but it never came together for a blog post. So you all are getting this (I know it's lacking oomph).....now I am tired, but I know tomorrow I won't be able to do anything with this blog until later....so I thought I'd just say "hi!" and leave it here.
I haven't forgotten about you...it's just easy to dither my time away. This is where I need to prioritize. I did manage to get caught up on some paperwork and checked off a few "to do" items. I did manage to do my daily lump. I made a really good pizza tonight. The turning of spring has brought us here in NewMexico snow. Nothing for 4 months then spring comes and we finally have winter. Despite the weather - or maybe because of it (what a relief to see some moisture in the state) I feel the vibrant energy of spring stimulating me to send out some new growth, but also to get my ducks cleaned and in a row so to speak.......I will resume more normal posting soon.....until then please bear (it's like I'm coming out of hibernation) with my scattered posting.....and if you see the first robin of spring be sure to make a wish before it flies away......

Week 10

Things that grabbed me this week:

• time disorganization is one of my biggest blocks to living a creative fulfilled life and change isn't always easy but I will get there.
• my shadow side or my ego or some darn part of me wants to be known - wants to be special -and that really gets in the way of living and enjoying creativity.
• I like writing in my blog and when I gave Magique a good long time at the front my lack of posting put me in a funk - or it could just be spring - 40 mph wind and dust does little to make one say yippee spring.
• I'm loving this project of Liz Elayne's - 1st week - 2nd week
• I was at the grocery store picking out the best apples and having to reach a little up to the top of the stack and thought again about Marilyn's post. That is so cool how a blogger you read flashes into your mind as you go about your daily life.
• Still searching for a habit to go before my morning pages so I become a little more awake - I tried different things but I'm not sure what I want to commit to doing because it will become a habit like the morning pages.
• I planned an artist date with Danny Gregory's book - see the post below this one from March 17.
• This piece of wisdom got to me and I'm still a thinking about it. Thanks to a sweet life!
• I heard Rob Brezsny on New Dimensions radio this morning. Crazy wisdom but he sounds so sane and I loved it.
  

I'm thinking:
one small creative act repeated everyday will change your life
and
everyday is a new day
and
expect good things
and
set your intention on happiness
and
write a poem
and
yes, the world feels as if it is a dead tree decomposing yet we fail to look at the new life of seedlings that are coming up out of that fertile soil. Look for the other story
because
what you put your attention on expands
I keep doing my daily lumps of clay and I love it. It's a doable small creative act and it's spurred me on to other small creative acts. So what is your one small lump? Do it - don't wait until never. Find what delights you.......each day find what delights you......

Studio Friday - B&W

Studio Friday -------- black and white

Okay, I struggled with this topic. In fact, I had just about decided to give up participation this week. But I realized I did do something in black and white this week. I went to page 22 of Danny Gregory's book The Creative License and I drew the 4 things he suggests you draw for laughs before you've had any practice drawing. I won't show you my whole drawing, but here is a little glimpse.



I'm very intimidated by drawing. I know when I've practiced I get better at it. Gregory's book has re-inspired me to try - to explore - to learn to drive as he puts it.
I actually enjoyed photographing this at an angle with my close-up lens - but what most surprised me was the streak of sunlight at the top. I can easily get caught up in an all or nothing - or a kind of black and white thinking. I can get caught in thinking unless I can draw perfectly (whatever that means?) then I won't ever show anyone. But sometimes it is that unexpected bit of light that passes by - could it be called radiance - or grace - it keeps me going and I will continue to try.......
Would you like more black and white - go to Studio Friday

AND this is a very fun high contrast site to explore - the clips take a little bit to load - but I found them quite enjoyable to watch - go to Sand Fantasy

Bit O' Green

Happy St. Patrick's Day to You!


I have a nice Irish name by marriage but I have no Irish heritage. I have begun to love the color green though - so this year I have a selection of green shirts to wear. No pinchin' happening to me. My mouth is already salivating for corned beef and cabbage tonight........P.S. Greenishlady....why do us American's get so silly with this holiday I know it has so little to do with being Irish? Nevertheless, we send you and your country happy greetings!

Inspiration Offering for the Artist's Way Bloggers

Since nearly all of us Blogging the Artist's Way are women I thought for my inspiration offer I would present Magique - a feminine icon of creative beingness. I stitched Magique together in 1995. She has a whole story about who inspired her and how she came into this world. I'll just say a thank you to Monika and Leslie and leave Magique's own creation story for another day.



Magique is a 7 foot tall doll. She has her own special chair with a red cushion. She has a drum and prayer bead bracelet. She loves the trance of the creative flow. She listens to her heart. She guards my studio and keeps me company. She knows that love is our true nature -she knows that we are all creations of the Divine and that we therefore are creative beings. She knows that if you connect to Source - that pure state of being then you are free to BE the wonderful creation of love that you are.




Magique wants to give you this quote from Florence Cane who wrote a book called The Artist In Each Of Us

"What we need to be taught is not art, but to believe in ourselves, our imaginations, our senses, and our hands, to free our bodies and our spirits that we may work and live according to our visions." - Florence Cane

I hope Magique will give you a little boost for Week 10 of the Artist Way - or just a boost to living and loving your life! If you missed it you can also check out my recent post about inspiration from a Studio Friday topic. Creative blessings to you all! Keep up the great work!

snow!!!! Finally some winter here in Placitas! 3 inches so far of pure bliss!

So that is the week 9 Artist Way report...

I've been rereading my morning pages very slowly and I'm not done yet. Here are the things I've become most aware of by reading what I wrote many weeks ago. The very first thing is I see how there's an ebb and flow. Sometimes, it just feels like I'm there showing up on the page and nothing but boring whining writing is occurring. Then there will be a cycle where lots of insights appear all at once. After seeing the larger cycle I'm making a strong note to myself that what is important is showing up to do the task.
The most often written phrase in my morning pages is "I'm not awake yet" One thing I really like about the morning pages is it stopped me from getting my coffee, turning on the computer, and surfing the internet. It stopped that cycle of waking up by reading and therefore kind of unconsciously absorbing a lot of external information. Most of it was good information, but I feel more in tune with myself by writing morning pages and waking up.
However, I find that on the days that my morning pages seemed the most interesting or more precisely seemed like the tool they are meant to be - it occurred on the days when I'm more awake when I write them. So, I'm shifting the morning pages a little beginning this week. I'm going to try a few things - just to see if I can wake up and be present in my body a little bit more before I write the pages. I still want to do them first thing because they won't get done otherwise - but I am wondering if I could just add a little yoga or breath work before the pages. I'm also thinking I may read something inspiring before sitting down to write my morning pages. Or maybe I just need to write my own purpose statement and affirmations out and have them in a place I can read them before writing my morning pages. I think they are a useful tool, but I'm now at a point where I want to experiment with what is going to give me the best start for my day.

I didn't do an artist date this week. I made the mistake of not making it a priority. I didn't start the week really thinking about the Artist Way or when I was going to do any of it and therefore the artist date slipped by. I'm taking this clay class in Santa Fe and it's really shifted some of my routines enough that I've found I'm having some time management problems.

Time management - since last weekend that has become the next area I really want to focus on. We have almost lived in our new house for 5 months now. I feel unpacked and settled in. I've adjusted my shopping schedule and my other responsibilities to fit with a longer commute time. What I haven't done is create the kind of routines that help me run a household and allow time to do my creative work. I feel like it's time for me to get the routines together and make creative priorities. I started this blog, committed to the Artist's Way, and I'm back with my hands in the clay - but all these things need a proper place in my life instead being as haphazard as they have been for the last several weeks.
I have a life that allows me a lot of free time - but it is easy to waste it and get less done by drifting. I feel like it's time for me to really get serious about how I use my time and what is most important for me to accomplish. This sort of fits with AW, but it's not really a theme for this week - yet it's clearly where I am at.

This was the chapter with creative u-turns. Yes, I've done some of those. I have to admit though that I'm not really so interested in exploring that this week. I did create a daily lump last night that started out as a u-turn symbol but turned into an ouroboros - a snake swallowing it's tail. I thought how fascinating that my soul would speak to me about this in this way. I can't really find the right words to say what this symbol says to me - it's a very visual and visceral experience. I will say that I don't think that making a creative u-turn is such a bad thing. Maybe I've already found the self compassion the Artist Way is having us look for this week.
A few posts back I noted Pema Chodron's quote "Never underestimate the inclination to bolt." I think this is very relevant for creative u-turns. The more aware I become of my own inclinations to bolt the less I seem to make a drastic turn in the opposite direction. So even along this journey of blogging or the AW or my ceramic class I've been more steady - aware of when I want to just abandon it all or when I want to suddenly take up some new direction and I've noted it and stayed in place and found myself happily still on path. So that is the week 9 Artist Way report.......stay tuned because I think this week is my turn for offering an AW inspiration.......

Studio Friday - Eyes

The topic this week is I'm all eyes -


Here's a selection of some of the eyes found in my studio. I included my own eye too. The top left corner has a daily lump from a few days ago - inspired by this weeks eye topic. Due to allergies I'm calling it "Watery Eyes and A Sniffling Nose" The bright green frog eye toward the bottom right was made by my sister a long time ago as part of a bulletin board - it matched my green bedroom when I was a kid.
I had to include my cats' eyes too because if I'm in the studio they are usually watching me at least until they settle down and go to sleep. I don't know what I'm doing when I use Photo Shop so I am very proud of myself for figuring out how to do this gathering of pictures. I wish it didn't take so long to figure out all this stuff.

Go here to feast your eyes on other Studio Friday glimpses.

Hope you have a great day!

Ah choo......ah choo......

I'm going to answer Eliza and Greenishlady in this post. First Greenishlady wondered about my weekend? I took a mini blog break and I think it did me some good. I guess I'm trying to find some balance and I recognize a greater need for some time management.

I also really needed to focus on my clay rocks -I made about a dozen clay rocks. In the end I had two stacks of clay rocks that had five rocks each and one stack with three rocks. They are all drying slowly and it will be a few weeks before they are fired. Who knows if they will come out for the next step which will be glazing. It will be a month - but however it turns out I'll show you all a picture in the end. I try to prepare for the fact that things crack and glaze doesn't do what you want it to do - so I may be showing you more a picture of failure - but that's life in ceramics........and there are always pleasant surprises too..... I know I've learned something so far.

Eliza left me a comment and a question in my color post about green. Yes, Eliza - you did read that right - spring has been painful for me. I first remember spring pain when I was in college. How is it that during a season with more light and flowers I will actually feel as if I'm having a nervous breakdown. It became very acute the year that my dad died. He nearly died in late January and was given a month to live - but he managed to live 5 months - all through spring. Many years after that I would re-enter a grieving period from Feb to June. Time has healed that wound now.
Yet, I know that some of my seasonal trouble with Spring is allergies. I have terrible allergies to juniper and mulberry and milder allergies to ash and cottonwood. But they all grow here and juniper is a huge pollinator in NM. I'm already starting to sneeze. I swept my husband out of the house this morning with sneezes - ugh! Every year I say I am going to leave this state for the month of March - but each year I find myself here sneezing. I've never gone the route of allergy shots - but one of these years I may do that.
In recent years my spring anxiety is less acute - although I think it is just I'm aware of it now, so it doesn't seem to have the same control over me. So when it comes I say to myself this is just spring - it's birth and birth is never easy. I have a dear friend who gave me these words several years ago:

spring is this monstrous
sort of labor, too-
tight winter birthing
greedy green life!!!
ouch.

and I clutch hold of these words every year to remind myself of this phenomenon. If I take the whole process less personally and try to see that it's just a seasonal cycle I do a lot better. In recent years I really haven't had to fight against all the feelings of depression and anxiety. I trust more that "this too shall pass." Like I said in my green post - this year I feel a renewal and one sign of that is my new favorite color of green. I was thinking about color more after reading Tess. She took back her childhood color. Greenishlady also has a post about colours, and this morning I discovered Endment's lovely words for gray.

It's funny that green has come back so strong. When I was kid I wanted a matching bedroom set. You know the kind with the headboard and bookcase and desk and nightstand - all the same. Well, the solution we came up with was to paint all the furniture the same color. So I had mix matched furniture but it was all - yes you guessed it - green!

Eliza, I don't know if I've ever heard Ray Charles sing "being green" But that song does tend to choke me up. Oh, and one more thing - I no longer collect frogs - but I used to until it got out of hand. Frogs - green - spring - sneezing and if you live in New Mexico its March =wind!!!

Ah choo......ah choo......and she swept herself off to bed.

Here is my daily lump from yesterday. I know the photo isn't great, but I was trying to capture that fleeting moment when I caught a glimpse of crow. I also know I don't really have the shape of crow right in my clay - but that would have required research and I was just doing a 15 minute lump. But I wanted to give you all a picture - per Otter's request. When this clay is fired it will be a red color with flecks of mica - but I'm thinking of using some black underglaze on the crow.

Crow

Snake - nourishment
wing - strength
sky - dream
clay - story
movement - memory

I saw a crow today that was flying over the highway. I think he had a small snake in his mouth. It may have been a twig - but it was kind of big and looked rather wiggly. I could only catch a glimpse as I was driving down the highway at 75 mph. Still it is an image I carry with me off to bed tonight. Whatever that crow had it was a good find!
When I sat down to do my daily lump tonight I decided to make the image of that crow with it's snake. I love doing my daily lumps. The clay tells me stories or helps me remember stories to tell.

Artist Way week 8.........

I'm still on track and walking the journey. I do feel like I need a little mini blogging break so I'm going to take that mostly this weekend and try to do a little organizing before I'm buried in messiness and lost among the piles. I have a project of clay rocks to make. If there is time I'll read some books instead of blogs. Happy trails to all.....

I am green

I am green the color of growth. I can be tender and subtle. Green matches all other shades of green and looks good with other colors. I am earthy and healthy. I have inside me the soothing qualities of blue and the excitement of yellow. I am loyal. I say go and yes. I may not be very flashy -- I tend to blend with the environment but I am lively and nurturing and creative.

I just did this exercise of writing as if I am a color. I chose green which is my new favorite color. First of all it shows me that I have changed. I wouldn't have picked green several years ago. I think for me it tells me how much I'm into growing. Even spring doesn't grieve me so much anymore. I feel I'm more in the spirit of spring - growing evolving.

This exercise loses all it's depth in the Artist's Way. It's a deep exercise. Here's why -first you take your time choosing because on some level it's important to choose the right color. Why is this? - It's because your personal choices - even small choices are the way you declare yourself. On a certain level we know that if we choose green instead of say pink that says something very specific about our style and who we are.

How you answered it is also very telling because someone else with the color green might have said, - I am green. I am big and full. It isn't easy being green.

The thing about this is that the same color will appear differently to everyone. No one sees the same color exactly the same. There is no right or wrong answer to this exercise. So the way you describe yourself as a color shows your own uniqueness.

I quote Barbara Sher on this: "in this simple-minded little exercise on color...Your style is a style of perception, a way of seeing and feeling the world, that is unique --as unique as your fingerprints. You are born with it, and it develops as you grow and it is not like anyone else's in the world. It is literally incomparable."
Instead of seeing life this way from our own unique perception and appreciating others' styles we actually live by comparing ourselves to everyone else and placing ourselves into a rank. The depth of this exercise hopefully shows you how your perception is unique and how beautiful someone else's perception really is.

I quote Barbara Sher again, "The notion of competition - the idea that there is someone out there just like you, only better - is untrue. What's more, it keeps your attention focused away from yourself, on the struggle to meet the ill-fitting standards of other people, instead of looking inside and discovering your own. The things that are unique and incomparable about you are the only basis on which you can design a life that will truly satisfy you. And it is you who must be satisfied. There is no authority outside you who can tell you what's right for you. When you become aware of your own uniqueness, that's when you really begin to cherish and respect yourself - and to respect others!"

The last thing about this color exercise is this. It's a lightly obscured exercise in letting you feel free to speak up about yourself. You may have caught on that you were talking as this color and underneath it you were saying things about yourself. It's another way to bypass the critic or editor. The beauty of this exercise is we get to show ourselves to ourselves in a way that speaks in our own style and we can hear it.

Studio Friday - Inspriation

Studio Friday Topic Inspiration
Congratulations to Tine for the One Year Anniversary of Studio Friday!

When I read the topic for this week I thought - well this will be an easy one. Inspiration is easily found everywhere and that is exactly the problem. How do you narrow it down to a picture? It comes in through sight, touch, taste, smell, spirit and emotion and in ways that are so intangible that picturing it would take writing essays filling books and thousands of photos. And in a way, at least with all the blogs I read my motivation to read them is to follow this ever flowing thread of inspiration. I'm always on the lookout to be in awe.

Because the scope of this topic seemed too large and something that would be difficult to picture I came close to not participating this week. Yet, I went into my studio with the camera - just to see if something would happen. It's a good thing this project is only to show you a glimpse of my studio, because it is really a mess right now. I saw that mess and thought - NO- NOT INSPIRING!

Then I focused my camera on my chair.


Actually, I have four of these red chairs. Aren't they a nice color? I stained them myself. I realized though as I took the picture this is perfect for what inspires. It is about sitting in that chair - being in my studio. Working on something. I find a lot of inspiration these days just by showing up and creating.

I started to make a list - just off the top of my head of inspirations:
my sister, R- my muse, other artists, sunlight, words, books, art, my cats, my tools, my various little collections of things, Ganesh, The Great Mother, Beingness, the feel of clay, colors, music, spirals, hearts, wings, angels, rocks, twigs, the smell of clay, the smell of gel medium, small details, animals of all sorts, the clouds, plants of all sorts, water, did I mention books, movies, art shows, sky, the moon, other artists, other artist's studios, other bloggers, coffee, chocolate,dirt, mystery, "What is essential is invisible to the eye, it is only with the heart that one can see rightly"- Saint Exupery, bells, Buddha, walking, swimming, labyrinths, cooking, using my hands, children, old people with spunk, fire, stories, lots of stories, magic, temenos, breathing, gratitude, coyote songs, the joy that a dog expresses, my cat's long legs and the way he flicks his feet out to the side to walk, writing, lots and lots of writing, rubber stamps, paper, little grommets, rusty things and sparkly glass, vegetables, poetry, spoken poetry read by the poet, radio, dictionaries, inner peace, flowers, fog, the Tao, cat's whickers, texture, rain, circle dancing, happiness, lost track of time while in the creative flow, singing


This list is just a quick list and yet it occurs to me that I feel so good now after writing and rereading this list. It's almost like a gratitude journal. If you've ever made a gratitude list then you know the experience of writing down the words of what you are grateful for and having yourself brought back to the original emotions. In a sense you return to the juice of the it or the aliveness of it and it helps retrack the mind. Well, I think that by writing and reading a list of your inspirations it actually does the same thing - your mind falls into it and you become inspired.

What inspires you? And of course you can always go looking for what inspires others at Studio Friday.

Warning very long post you may not want to read-

I just need to say what is in this post because it is a block and I don't want it to be a block for me anymore. Before you read further though I will say I reveal something about the Artist's Way which could cause you to become disillusioned with the material - I suggest you not read any further if you have placed Julia Cameron up on a high pedestal and want to keep her there. If you are happy with her book it would be fine to just leave now and not read any further. And forget you even read this much.

I warned you and if you are just too curious and must read further - you were warned. I wasn't going to write this post and put it out there, but I wrote and it gave me lots of clarity and put to rest something that has bothered me for ten years. So, I'm putting it out there......but I strongly suggest you not read further if you are sensitive to the issue of giving credit to one's sources because knowing what I figured out ten years ago has up until now left me very confused and disillusioned with Cameron.

If you want to understand why Cameron has us doing the task of goal search this week. And if you want to understand more about picking a concrete goal and what is the emotional drive under your goal then you need to go to Barbara Sher's book Wishcraft:How to Get What You Really Want copyright 1979. Chapter 4 specifically. I have no idea what arrangement is between Cameron and Sher - but I believe that Sher gave Cameron a lot of permission to use her wishcraft exercises in the Artist's Way. If you want to know why Cameron is having us describe ourselves as a color or why she had us write out our ideal environments way back in week 4. Or you want to know why she was always asking us for imaginary lives or you want to know what is the point of listing twenty things you enjoy doing - then go to Barbara Sher's Wishcraft book. Cameron throws out all these exercises and never really explains why we are doing them, but Barbara Sher really explains it in more detail.

Ten years ago I think I got to chapter eight of the AW and sort of lost my drive to follow Cameron. I felt kind of betrayed to discover how fully the tasks in the Artist's Way are the same as in Barbara Sher's book. But after all this time and giving the Artist's Way another pass I feel a little differently. I think that Sher's work made a big impact on Cameron. I suspect they were friends or Cameron knew and experienced Sher's work first hand. And what a tribute to Sher that her work would be a used by one of her students and/or friends and make such an impact on so many other people.

I started to do the task of goal search this week and I just was so compelled to go read in Barbara Sher's book. Then it just really got to me this connection of Sher's work to what Cameron presents to us in her book. I get stopped every time with Cameron's material at this edge. But this time, I'm not going to let it stop me. I really see an opportunity for myself. I am a bit of a shadow creative teacher. I just love this topic. I could read about it all day and I could go to all the bloggers doing this Artist Way process and read about their experiences. I don't get bored by it. I guess I secretly dream about being someone who fully lives a creative life and encourages others to live creative lives. And yet I recognize that Cameron and Sher have made an impact on me and if I dream about writing my own creative book I don't think I could do it without some acknowledgement of their work. But just because they have written books and taught - does that really give me the excuse to say - oh well, forget my dream because they have already done it?

Instead, I see the opportunity to say I can pay my own tribute to all of this work and blend it with my own style and put it out into the world. I had a teacher once who taught me how to make spiritdolls - her name is Sherry Hart. I came out of fine art school burnt out and took one of her classes for fun and relaxation. In fine art school the professors were secretive. They wouldn't show you their own work because they were always afraid of having a student take their idea and do a better job expressing it then they had. Sherry Hart didn't come from that place she would show you her work and even work on it in class with you. I remember one time I used one of her ideas in a spiritdoll and she was so excited to see how I'd taken some idea of hers and in a way added another perspective. It added a rung to the ladder. She saw us as climbing a ladder of creativity together. I'll never forget how much that reception meant to me and how it allowed my creativity to blossom.

So in a way, I see what Cameron has done with Barbara Sher's work was put another rung on the ladder. I'm allowed to add my own voice. I am worthy of it. I don't exactly dream of being as famous as Cameron with a travel schedule that I bet she has to maintain. But I won't stop my own voice from putting a rung on the ladder. And though I hope I haven't ruined the Artist's Way for you by pointing toward Barbara Sher's Wishcraft book I do feel like it helps me climb the ladder to know a little more the reasoning behind the tasks Cameron has us doing. Since I never originally came to the AW way without having read Wishcraft first I don't know how it is to do these exercises the way they are presented by Cameron. They must be just fine the way they are because her book is huge and popular - but I read the AW exercises and sometimes I want to know why I'm being asked to do this task - so I go back a rung on the ladder to Wishcraft.

Ten years ago when I did the Artist Way for the first time there was a huge issue of grieving the death of my father. So, I liked the AW and I did it, but it wasn't life changing for me because I was stuck in other issues that the AW didn't even get close to touching upon. I've done a lot of work since then and I have to say this time the AW feels like it is propelling me forward more easily. After my Dad died I dropped out of art therapy school. I don't regret that decision. But in looking at my disillusionment last time of Cameron's material I think it was because Sher's book had propelled me into studying art therapy. Then my Dad died and I dropped art therapy and when I saw Cameron's connection to Sher's work I just lost the passion for all of it. It kind of sat flat for me until very recently when I started this blog and joined other AW bloggers. But today - day 61 on my blog - the desire to create and inspire creativity burns very bright in me and I'm trying to recognize how I took this ten year turn and that it would be okay to pick it up again. I don't regret the last ten years. They are very important to me for so many reasons, but I want to go on this creative path and I acknowledge it is a dream of mine. Now, onto coming up with some concrete goals.....